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Are You Emotionally Responsible or Emotionally Dependent?

Know the difference and practice self-care.

Think of the last time your boo was mad at you. Did you suddenly feel insecure, hurt, or rejected? Did their behavior effect you to the point where you felt as though you wouldn’t feel better until they were no longer mad? If so, you may be emotionally dependent on them.

This post will help you take charge of your feelings in these situations so that you may live more happily, healthy and emotionally responsibly.

Okay, now let’s rewind to bae being mad. Yes, he/she may have every right to be but that doesn’t mean you should let it dictate your mood for the rest of the day. Instead, reflect on the fact that his/her anger has nothing to do with you. After all, it’s their anger not yours. Use the positive energy you have to practice compassion. Tell them that you understand they are upset and extend an invitation to talk. So, now you’re at a crossroad; they either say yes or no.

If they say yes, listen. Use this time to communicate effectively and move forward without letting your assumptions turn a simple situation complex. Avoiding assumption based thoughts/feelings will make you feel soooo much better (trust me, I’m the assumption queen). Usually a good heart to heart conversation will restore the peace.

In the case that it doesn’t and they instead attack or simply shut down, remove yourself from the situation. Let them know their anger is a bit too much for you at the moment and say you’ll just leave for a while until they're calm and ready to talk.

Give them space and take the time to reflect on how their behavior may have affected you. You might be feeling lonely as a result of their attitude, but take that time to nurture yourself. It’s okay to feel the way you do, so embrace those feelings and make peace with them so that it doesn’t consume you. Remember, it’s not your fault that they're mad and you damn sure shouldn’t have to carry it with you while they hold on to their anger. You’re no one’s bag lady/man.

You may not be able to help them cope with their anger at that time, but you can always look within to understand and rid yourself of any negative feelings you may have. If you did something wrong, make sure to unpack and heal your own personal baggage so that it doesn't continue to impact your relationship. Use just as much time and energy you were willing to use in order to make them feel better on yourself. This is emotional responsibility. This is being the master of your mood, actions, fate.

This is just an example of how you can practice self-care in situations like these. It could be your sibling, co-worker, or even a stranger. Take charge the same way.

Emotional responsibility is all about being in control of yourself. Do this and you will be well on your way to conquering self-love.


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